Friday, May 9, 2014

Mi'lord, Mi'lady... Merci

You know how... when things turn around. And you start seeing the light at the end of what seemed like a very long tunnel?

Credit: Jess_Holt

Can I just say.... at this point. I am so frigging happy. I don't even know how to describe it.

A couple of my posts have probably seemed rather confusing and convoluted especially if you have no context. But, people close to me will know that I have been dealing with a situation that is rather, out of my control.

The thing about it is, it is out of my control.

And worrying.. and stressing about it. Couldn't, and can't do anything to rectify it. So it seemed to spiral.

So, I started taking measures. Actual measures. To what was IN my control. Added security measures for instance. Or simply, removing myself from certain platforms or situations, so that I would not be susceptible to being bullied, or play into more traps.

And just.. well. Refusing to be scared or letting fear dictate my actions.

Not so much running away. But, someone can't hit you, if you aren't there sitting like a duck, prime for target practice, yes? Sitting there and crying over split milk, isn't going to help me. Even if it wasn't me who broke the bottle!

We clean up as best we can. And we move on.

I think... Realising, that the attack on me, didn't just affect one or two specific people in my life... but a few more including those in the past... eased some stress as well.

Perhaps, relief in the knowledge that the attackers, were not snipers. But merely, big bad bullies firing machine guns in a spray. Terrorists who planted a few mine fields, and just, were waiting to see which would explode in my face.....

That, is a source of comfort in itself.

Made me laugh a little too I guess...

I think, perhaps, seeing how the others, who got hit, as a result of me being the target, and how they handled the situation... Also has given me a lot of insight. Changed my opinions about a few of them too.

They literally, sifted the wheat from the chaff.

For those friends... and some, of whom were only acquaintances - I honestly have new-found respect for.

Now, what seemed like such a big huge issue... well. It hasn't become smaller, but with perspective, it actually looks like so much smaller a problem. I know I can deal with it now.

I know now... that there are people, who will stand by my side. Or even defend me. Regardless of the lies they have been fed or told. And for that.. I am immensely touched, and grateful.

I know there are people who understand... And looked at the situation, and not only did not get angry at me.  Or  get rude or blame me like any of them could have, but instead, lent me comfort... and gave me strength.

It's amazing really.

I am pretty blown away.

So.. to the people in my life, who really... have been amazing through this really tough time...
Didn't abandon me. Run off, or belittle the problem. But instead, helped me tackle it head on, without blame...

To B and your other half.

To MMO, for always listening, understanding and caring

To.. PS and CW.

And most of all...... last but not least.
You know who you are.

In Korean shows with royalty, they always used to have this line to show deep gratitude.. that I never understood, but now, I have an inkling of what that feels like. So...

Thank you.

Your grace overwhelms me.



P.S. To... luckycharm. Thank you for turning on the luck again. Heehee....