Thursday, September 20, 2012

Sara gets botoxed...

yes yes...

You read right.

And I'm sure now you are dying to see it for yourself right?

Ok. First and foremost. Let me just say that yes, I have tried botox before.

HATED IT. I have these smile lines on my face that make me look like I have kitten whiskers. Or a pair of sunnies have made indentations on my cheek. I do not like 'em though people think they are cute.

But, one time, my doc said why not try a little bit of botox to help it.


It literally froze my face.

I lost my smile for like 2 weeks. And by that I don't mind I had to go hunting for it, I didn't misplace it somewhere, just that my facial muscles couldn't recall how to smile properly. And that for me....  is drastic.

I am the queen of smiling.

I once taught a male supermodel how to smile too.
But that story another day.

I actually even have the no-teeth smile. The half smile (4 to 6 teeth) and the full smile (6 to 8 teeth).
And its better to say "Monkeys" in photos. Not "Cheese"- which can sometimes result in a thinner oversmile.

Any way. After my first round of botox, and smiling like...

For 2 weeks.

I actually am serious. I did smile like that the whole time because my mouth and cheeks couldn't estimate where to start or stop. So I looked like a deranged lunatic the whole time. And from then on.. I swore. NEVER AGAIN.


Till this fateful day...

So.. whaddya think peeps?

Keen on trying?
Am actually wondering if I should try it again.

Either way, if this is something you are keen on trying, you might actually get better prices here than in Thailand.

Yes. I've checked.

Try Prive out and ask for either Dr. Karen Soh, or Dr. Miranda Walsh. They're both really nice. And try asking for the "Sara Ann K- friends and family discount".



I know. You sick people wished there was more blood and gore. Or the post would land up like a comedy channel one right?

Ha. Don't you worry at all.
More stories to come...


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Something special happened to me today...

Long story short.
Because as we know I can get a little longwinded.

Someone wanted to take a photo with me today.
(Well- at time of publishing- technically, it would be last night.)

I mean. Of course I am used to it. People come up to me everyday and ask for photos. And more often than not I have to shield my eyes with huge glasses and my face with a newspaper as I run across the street to buy food while being chased by paparazzi.

I know. It was nice to daydream for a short while.

Any way. Yeah. We do get requests for photos once in a while especially when we are out on shoot. Though honestly, I probably had THE MOST photo requests when I was the princess host for Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses.


Kids. Loved. Me.

Can you spot me in full Barbie glory?

When I do hang out with my other pals like... Nat Ho... Sheila Sim.. Rebecca Lim.. blah blah blah.. Well, I am pretty much accustomed to their fans asking me to take the camera and take a photo of them. To which I usually oblige rather happily.

The former me, might have been a lot more insecure and maybe jealous even. But not only do I like my friends, I think... I like myself. I am comfortable with who I am, and what I want to achieve, and I have reached that point in life where I can genuinely be happy for another friends success. In fact, we really do want each other to do well from the bottom of our hearts.

But the thing is today. It was after a long day at work.

It wasn't long because there was a lot of work to do. Just... A lot of.. frustration on my part.

And I went down to the auditorium in my office to check out the rehearsals for TNPNF 2012. And this girl Fai I think it was, literally bounced up to me after practice.

"Can I take a photo with you please.... You saved my life!!" she enthused.

I was a little perplexed because I think I would remember if I gave mouth to mouth resuscitation to any human being.

"Someone was asking me to host something. And then.. I was so horrible. So my producer actually asked me to watch your videos on RazorTV. And I've watched every single one of them. And its really helped! They say I'm better now. You saved my life! Can I take a photo with you please?"

So.. I took a photo with the girl.

And.. something inside me just lifted.

I think.. it was the sweetness of appreciation.

We all some times crave it.

But honestly.. I haven't been getting it in a long time.

It reminded me of that sweet feeling of surprise, when I hosted the Stomp Getai awards about a month ago, and an Uncle came onstage to gift me an "angpow" to show his appreciation.

She's young, but already a veteran.
Pro-getai singer and host, Peifen, is very used to getting gifts and tokens from
appreciative members of the getai audience.
Do you see that?
Yes. Getai singer Jin Lian was given a sash with $1000 cash stapled onto it.
I am in the wrong line. Evidently.

My angpow which the old Uncle gave.
It only had $10 inside. But it was the best $10 I have ever recieved.
Knowing that it probably came out of his CPF, or allowance from kids...
And the fact that it was my first time hosting Getai in a smattering of English and Mandarin,
while dealing with my getai-pro host who spoke in rapidfire Mandarin and dialect...

Feeling: Priceless.

Qixian- My co-host for the night. And myself.
I was dressed in local label xfemmex.
With a Celine cuff, and Givenchy shoes.
In the Toa Payoh Heartlands Amphitheatre outside the library.

Yup. I was so prepared for this shizz.

I was, so incredibly touched by the gesture, if you were onstage with me at the time. You would have seen tears in my eyes. I still have the ang pow in my wallet today.

And just earlier today, someone I respect, Oo Gin Lee, an incredible tech writer with The Straits Times Digital Life came up to me while I was buying coffee, saying "Oi! We missed you at the IT show this year la."

"Eh.... why miss me. Got booth babes.. and then so-and-so covered it what.." I replied.

"Yeah la.. But you are good la!"


Warm fuzzies.
Seriously. When you are recognised by people who are your revered peers as well. It feels good. To know they see it. Even when some times, the people you wish saw it, don't.

Sometimes its the little things that keep you going on.

Thank you for reminding me that I love what I do. And for telling me, that I am good at it. Because the people around me, have been telling me otherwise for a long time. No matter how strong you are, or how thick your skin is, some times, people can wear you down.

Thank you, for lifting me up.

And yes.

One day.

I still want my own talkshow.

And my own book. Scent lines. Lingerie. Children's book. Among other things.
Always nice to have goals to work towards, right?
Even nicer.
Having people who believe that you can achieve it.

And your answer is......

Sorry dude.

Life ain't fair.

Ain't seeing no ring on this finger.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

So I got drunk last night

Well, this as you have probably realized if you know me well enough. Does not happen very often. In fact, it only happens once in a blue moon.

Previously- once every 7 years.  Well. That is drunk till shit-faced and puking my guts out all the way through the next day. (Happened this year on my birthday actually. Had to be carried out of filter! O_O So tak glam. And thanks MBF for NOT having designer muscles, and actually being able to carry me down those perilous stairs to my full puking glory in the planters. Le sigh.)

Either way, a good drunk high- with hangover next day. This.. was a first. In ages.

So, there I was. Drunk. The first time since.. probably.. I was 18 or so. And I got home at about 4am in the morning. After hunting around in my cavernous bag- hard enough to do if you are a woman looking for keys, let alone drunk with 10 thumbs- I realised.. NADA. Nope. The search was futile. Didn't even hear the familiar jingle jangle of the keys in my two bags.

So... I put my thinking cap on.

Please be very aware. This cap. Was drenched in alcohol. Dom to be precise. Apparently- even though I usually am tipsy with half a glass or two. I managed to drown a bottle of dom. And a couple shots of jaeger. And Belvedere. But who's counting. O_O

Either way I digress.

By the way- did I mention what I was wearing?

First- we have a very cool slightly revealing cropped singlet tank from xfemmex. Totally comfy. Its pretty bare on the sides. I had to tape it to prevent some sideboob action.

Then I had on Jayson Brunsdon gold highwaisted pants. Very gold. Very bling.

Here's sorta a pictorial guide of how I looked..

Here's me with Magic Babe Ning and JC Sum when they
bumped into me at Ion Orchard when I was filming earlier
Here's a screen shot of me earlier in the day during interviews,
so you can see how low the armholes go. YUP. Looooow. And airy.

Any way. 

So now you have a mental idea of what I was wearing.

Picture me. After all the aforementioned alcohol in my system. On a weird, and definitely atypical night out with MBF on a Wednesday night. Where after work, we went to Tamarind Hill for its launch (very nice place, just a little out of the way) - and they were serving wine in goblets filled TO THE BRIM.

Followed by dry mee sua at North Bridge Road's BK Eating House. (Some lining for the stomach at least.)

Followed by a quick pop by 28 HK which we haven't gone to in AGES and we used to practically be there 3 or 4 nights a week for a Bee's Knees and an Old fashioned and a quick catch up on each others gossip. (Yes- the pouffy sounding one was for me. But TH finished most of it.)

And then... we arrived at Mink.

This, mind you, is where it gets all hazy.

I remember another one of those HUGEASS Belv Vodkas. And for some reason.. many many sparklers.

And dancing on podiums.

And saying that we'd eat at Spize.

But we all landed up heading back home.. TILL..

Yes. Go back up to scene where I am out of cab. Outside my house at 4am. Drunk. No Keys. And.. too embarrassed to wake anyone up to open the door for me.

Firstly cos my phone had run out of battery and it would have to actually yell the house down to get anyone to open the door, and also cos well.. I was drunk. At 33. Outside my house. With no keys. *facepalm*

Thinking cap. Soaked in alcohol.

So. Sara gets a brilliant plan!!!

I decide to go through my bedroom window!

Yes! Its the most natural thought in the world for ALL NORMAL FEMALE 33-YEAR-OLDS. But of course!
What's that you say? No? You don't think so? Well. Apparently you weren't saying this loud enough for drunk sara last night. Because that's exactly what I did.

Or. Attempted.

So first. Aforementioned window...

Cue appropriate dramatic reveal sound effects.

Yes. It is pretty far off the ground.
 And it is narrow. While it might be about.. 1 m high. It also is only about 20 cm wide.

What in heaven's name possessed me to think that I could actually get through this....

Once again.

Let me remind you.

Thinking cap. Soaked. Alcohol.

Brain not working so good.

Well. At least it was working well enough for me to start hurling my stuff into the window first. So I wouldn't be encumbered with more things to weigh me down. But that was it for brilliant ideas and planning. 

So. Being pretty far off the ground. Drunk sara tries to HOIST herself up. I am surprised that with the grunts and groans this incited, that my mom was not standing in the bedroom, lights on, and staring at me within minutes with her "What are you doing and what time is it, do you think this house is a hotel"-face on. And as my powerplates or any trainers for that matter will tell you- my arms, are not exactly my best strengths, so this, might have lasted longer than the 2 minutes I think I gave it. But needless to say, was a fruitless attempt.

Not that its that easy to hoist a drunk self onto/into such a narrow ledge any way. (Self-consolation attempt here.)

So... Sara thought of ANOTHER brilliant plan.

Let's forage for something in the back!

Joy of joys.. I found an empty RED PAIL. 

How I could tell it was a red pail in my drunk stupor, I cannot tell you. I'm just glad I did not get bitten by a centipede or any creepy crawlies that I wouldn't have been able to see in that lighting any way.

Congratulating myself then at my quick thinking, giving myself mental pats on the back, I overturned the bucket, and used that as a ledge.

Yup. Not helping.

It was waaaaay too short.

I gave it one LAST try on the pail. Pushed myself up. Wiggled the top half of my body through the window. KICKING the bucket over, positively causing a ruckus and then realising....





My brilliant brain had forgotten that my Indian hips WOULD NOT in any way, shape, or form, be able to squeeze through a 20cm hole.

This ain't childbirth here. Windows. Are NOT. Expandable.

So there I was, top torso, feeling good about myself because I was halfway to my destination flopping to freedown on the otherside. Stomach like a fulcrum, balancing on the window ledge. But my hips, and my gold-pants-wrapped ass, stuck outside of the window, like a giant ferrero rocher with legs.

Yes. Complete with nuts. 

As I am.

Le sigh.

Can I just add. Here is when my dog Mumble, wakes up and looks at me from my bed, with this "err.... dafuq? What are you doing woman?" face. Like I'm the stupidest human being on the planet. While he languishes. On MY bed. No help from the ungrateful dog who we took in. NAH-UH. He just cast aspersions with his little beady doggy eyes.

So judgemental I tell you. 

Nothing like a little dog stare to reduce you to feeling like even more of a turnip. Well. To be honest, I think I felt more like a plump radish at that point. But let's not argue roots while my ass is still waggling in its full golden glory outside my window.

And quite honestly.. with the amount of noise I made, I am surprised none of the neighbours woke up to instagram  this.. momentous occasion.


Anyhoos. I knew it was "Time for a rethink."

Which trust me...

Isn't easy when your head, and your ass, are in different places. And alcohol is coursing through your whole body. And making you feel queasy in the stomach. Which of course, is the thing which is pivoting you on the ledge so the pressure isn't exactly pleasant. BUT, you are at least, with enough alcohol to make you comprehend the absurdity of the situation, enough to have a little giggle. Which then makes you want to pee, so you know you have to get into action soon. SO...

With a few wiggles and wriggles. I managed to, thankfully. POP! And land back on the ground with a reasonably muffled thud.

I know. Most of you were hoping I would land on my ass. Sorry to disappoint you masochists.

Meanwhile.. Wheels in Sara's brain are starting to once again, start turning. Albeit, very slowly. 

I weighed out the pros and cons of using the different things around me. But I wasn't exactly spoilt for choice.

Rubbish bin. Open. Full. And very light. Probably would topple over.

Plant pot with bouganvillea. Might get poked in the eye with pokey bush. Or get stung by creepy crawlies. Too heavy. Too much effort.

Ok people. Dustbin it is.

So I lined them up..

First testing the dustbin.

Nope... It definitely COULD NOT take my weight. I did contemplate turning it upside down for a more stable platform. But I really did not want to have to deal with the consequences of having my mom ask me in the morning what were all the leaves she swept up from the garden doing back... in the garden right under my window.

I harnessed the powers of any sort of atheleticism I had left in my alcohol-soaked-ahjumma bones... 

And I have no idea how.. But I did this super cool light as one of those characters in Kungfu panda type hops on pail, bounce off dustbin, land sideways in window and topple onto bed....


I MADE ITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I flopped onto the bed. 

With all the excitement of making my way in, I was so drained I barely got my makeup off before I K-Oed. 

Window 1- Sara 0.

And I am so not planning on a rematch.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am!

I'm sure we've all heard the saying.

Right up there with "love 'em and leave 'em".. But this phrase, as you can see, is obviously biased to one sex and assumes that the "predator" is always male.

Predator being a strong word of course.

Ever heard the song "The female of the species is more deadly than the male"?


Probably because of this. Females can be equally cold and deadly.

So what if the male praying mantis can have sex anything from "a few minutes to a few hours" - yes- we all know guys who are everything from "Gone in 60 seconds" to "The Marathon Man" - This woman does not care.

She starts eating the man up WHILE she is still basically "having his way with him", and because he's too focused on "yeah, baby, yeah" - i.e.: thinking with his second head - he doesn't even realise when he lost his first.

Feel used?

It is quite a rush to reduce a powerful man... a confessed player, to a confused, "Waitasec.. You.. Are leaving now? This very second? Without.. Err.. Wait.. But.. "

Role reversal.

You know it gurlfren