Where are you?

I am at work.

Meet up? Haven't seen you in ages.

Hmm... ok. Wait. Is it your birthday or something just in case I missed it?

You already wished me on my birthday.

oh. *sheepish grin* Sorreeeeee.... Forgot la. Ahjumma liao...

See you in ___ at XX.

And so, I went. 

"Let's get out of here."

"Huh, but I just got here."

"Ok, We'll stay for a while..."

"Err. Yeah. You asked me to come."

"Well, didn't you come to send me back home?"

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I'll have an orange juice."

"Btw, this is for you miss k," he said, as he handed me a rose with a roguish grin.

My eyebrows shot to my scalp. 

Within less than 30 mins, I found myself in a cab and being pushed out in front of a house that I do not live in.

"I'm sorry.., " he said.

"Huh? About?"

"Us."

"Huh? Where is this coming from?"

"Nah.. I've just been thinking. And I'm really sorry. I never.. handled it well. Two years ago."

"Geez babe. Like you said, it's two years ago."

"Yeah. But... I am sorry. I could have handled things better. It was just, too intense for me."

Flashes, flitted through my mind as we sat there, comfortable in each other's company. Memories flooding back.

"I know. I knew even then, you couldn't handle it at that point. You were still... getting over stuff...," I said.

"Do you think we would have worked?" He asked. His expressive face, looking boyishly charming. And those dimples. Damn. Those dimples. 

"We could have couldn't we. I just messed up," he said before I could even reply.

"Nah. You were going through stuff. You weren't ready. But if you were... I guess. Yes. We could have."

"But, I'm ready now. I'm changing. I want to change. I am not drinking so much. I'm slowing down. No more partying."

I looked at him and laughed. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Do you think... I still have a shot?"

I think, I looked at him with a mixture of sadness. and a quizzical smile.

It was.. so long ago.

And yet... there were still some.. feelings. Residual chemistry perhaps. Even the slight, excitement that maybe, this time.. some thing could really work.

I think, we both still had a soft spot for each other. But.. even with those soulful eyes and those charming dimples and that megawatt smile..... 

Something was different. 

We chatted. And chatted. And chatted. And it felt like, the days, months, years, had not gone by at all. It felt.. the same. Comfortable.

And yet.........

I just knew. A part of me wanted to try. Was still tempted to try. I knew I could.. But.....

There was that gut feeling... that the moment had passed him by.

I believe that, if a person is right. You will make the time right. I don't believe in the concept of right person, wrong time. If you feel it is the right person. You will make it the right time. Or you will turn back, to try and make things right again. To make it the right time.

I thought back to the time I thought he was.. well, a possibility. We spent every waking moment chatting to each other. Talking. Hanging out. It was intense. It was fun. It was.. pretty amazing. But there was always this... niggling feeling.

But it continued going strong even when we both were away for a month.. And when we got back too. Just that after a boys trip he took with his mates ...... after he let his pals voices, opinions... their teasing and ribbing get to him.. He pulled back.

And when that happened... it hurt me.

I cut him out.

So far, in all my life, I think, I've only had that..... feeling of dead certainty - you know the one people tell you about... the, "you'll know when you know" that this person was something special to you- type feeling .... Once. Once in my whole life.

I always had times.. intense beginnings, that crashed and burned equally fast. Where I some times would think... hmm.. yeah.. maybe...... could be... who knows... it feels nice. Yup, I think he could be...

But only once. Once in my whole life... did I feel like someone stopped me dead in my tracks. And there was this... "OMG. Where have you been? You're finally here!" type feeling. Where it felt like.. my whole soul came alive with this person...  That all the feelings, emotions filled me with a mixture of happiness, though it was tinged fear. (Probably, more a... is this even real. Nothing can be this good. Can anyone even be this happy? This is probably going to end badly if it feels this awesome. Because nothing can be that awesome!)

But there was always this... thing. A gut feeling. That this person... was more than something special. 

And no, that person, was not TLOML. (In fact, it took me two years with TLOML, to realise that I loved him, and think, yes.. this might be the person for me.)

This other person, pretty much came in like a wrecking ball. Because it was so intense, and I felt, so connected, even on a telepathic level almost... it felt like, we had already known each other forever. 

The thing is... we never did know each other. And I don't think he ever tried.

Which was.... a pity.

I guess, the fact that nothing ever worked out despite that strong gut feeling that I had.. that feeling of certainty almost. I'm not sure any more. I don't know if I can ever believe in my gut again. I keep.... second guessing myself.

I only know... that with me... once the moment passes.. I guess... I'm not sure if it can ever be gotten back.

I guess...

Yet again. Whatever will be, will be.

Que Sera Sera.

xx

sara

Penguins

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about Penguins. For a few months now.

How they pretty much mate for life in monogamous relationships.

I have lately been pondering that a lot. Whether or not it's possible. Maybe over time... my faith and trust in men.. and in a lot of the male species... hasn't been the strongest.

Recent events, probably chipping away at it even more.

I know that at one point, I was certain I had found my penguin.

Except... I think the real deal, would never abandon you.

Saw this ad today before a screening of X-Men...
And I totally teared up.





Pretty cool ad, eh?

If only...
=D



*curtsy*

xx
sara

Weird week for pickup lines.

Ok.. So last week, or was it week before.. that I got picked up at the cab stand by a really cute... soon-to-be-divorced man.

But this week.... had a couple of dingers.

BEST PICK-UP LINE SARA HAD THIS WEEK

Context: At a very swish Hermes party, called Men On The Move, which was a super cool installation that took over the whole of the old Kallang Airport. Complete with the most divine food. Very beautiful people. Honestly. Events, hardly get that good. (Kudos to the team behind it btw. Amazing.)

Ok. Now why I am giving this context as well is, these dos are usually rather "insider". Hardly any "picking up" is done because everyone there is who's who. And everyone knows everyone else. In fact, the thing to watch out for most of the time, are the bitchfights. The subtle snubs. And how people who hate each other, handle taking photos together like the best of friends.

So... enter, Venture Capitalist. Smartly dressed. Booming Aussie voice. 30's. Very.. energetic. Like a dude on red bull.

"HI, WE'RE GOING TO BE FRIENDS. WHAT'S YOUR EMAIL?" *proffers phone.

I have to say. I was actually mildly amused, I did give it to him.


THE ONES THAT DID NOT WORK

STILL AT THE HERMES PARTY

"Did I just steal your milk tea?" - mildmannered, well-dressed, but rather handsome guy. Who, wasn't aggressive enough, he got cut off by aforementioned Aussie. Waited around for a while. But... left dejectedly after a while when Aussie guy just dominated.

*sara... looking mildly disappointed that the milk tea got spirited away

"Are you are fan of GOT. You look, very well presented. But you look like you have a kinky side." - description of aforementioned gent shall not be provided in case of incriminating .. err... traits.

*sara... O_O

"Take a photo of me, and you can go downstairs.. and you see that bike on display.. it's mine. Tell them my name, show them the photo, and I bet you they'll let you take it." - mop haired gent.

*sara . . . . . . . and your point is?? .... hmm... okthxbai

OUT OF THE PARTY - and everywhere else

After dinner. Meeting for the first time. After I supposedly met him 5 years ago or something. And speaking with him casually on Facebook for a while.

"Next time we meet, we should be on a holiday together."

*sara. ..... huh?! This was a date?! Ok. I really have been a little out of this dating thing maybe. Geez. How rusty am I at this.


On Facebook.

"Want to come over and cuddle? Seriously. Just cuddle."

*sara ... err... No.

AND...

Well. Just so you know as well, that strange things like that DO HAPPEN TO ME.
ALL THE FRIGGING TIME...

Exhibit 1.

Wed. Apr 30.

Ok. I am also. Not quite sure what this one was about. Really.
Well.
I do.

He just totalled PUA - negged me.
And then brought me up again.

Tsk. Seriously guys. THE GAME?

YOU WANT TO USE THE GAME TACTICS ON ME? The one person in SG who did a full documentary feature serious called Expose' on playa tactics?

err...

Ok.

Moving swiftly on.


Earlier today. Sat. May 3rd. After already, politely ignoring a previous direct message that said "You look familiar.. Where have I seen you before. I want to get to know you more..."

OBVIOUSLY.

Because telling a chick you want to get to know... that she does not exist. And then... tagging her in that photo. ALWAYS WORKS.

Ok. That said. The YOU DO NOT EXIST thing, might have worked on me, if I was Jane/Jain. But I'm not.

OH..

And the follow up...

In direct message.

Seriously.

I don't even get the photo. What's with the barbells... on that cutesy mat. With food on it. FOOD.

AND THE NEXT ONE.

This was DM on twitter. I have a rule. Don't lead people on. But. Be polite. Be nice. Be real. Be you.

Never know when you could make a new friend right?

But... can I just repeat again....

One of the things a journalist HATES the most.. (esp as a line) Variants of... "Why don't you write an article on me."

This guy.. has been trying for... close to a mth. These are the DM's. And btw... what I do. IS ON MY PROFILE. ON TWITTER. WHY ASK ME WHAT I DO?

Only the person's name has been edited out to protect his identity.

NOTE: READ EACH PART, FROM DOWN TO UP FOR CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.

AND BTW.. the conversation STILL continued... after a tweet I sent out. Saying how much I hated the "write something on me" as a pickup line. But.. ok. Dude is not a bad guy. So.

Part 1. 22 days ago

NOTE: READ EACH PART, FROM DOWN TO UP FOR CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.

Part 2: At least the first time. He does not ask. Though, dinner is already offered.

NOTE: READ EACH PART, FROM DOWN TO UP FOR CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.

Part 3: AND THERE IT IS.

NOTE: READ EACH PART, FROM DOWN TO UP FOR CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.

Part 4. And yet again. He brings up what he does.

Ok.

This is in no way to humiliate or harm or hurt any of the above people featured.

Just.

Gah.

Guys. SERIOUSLY?



Sigh.

I do miss good ole' witty banter and natural chemistry.

But like my good pal MMO said.. "Eh, you know, this is the year that we are both supposed to find our significant other, if we have not already found the person yet."

Uh huh. I do know this babe.

Which is why I am keeping my doors, and my mind, wiiiiide open.



Fate. You have all my attention..

Cos you never know, when you might just have a date with destiny.

So... always have to kiss a few toads to get to the right frog, yes?

*rubbing luckycharm's belly for luck*

=)

*curtsy*

xx
sara

Of Gentlemen and Chemistry

I have forgotten how nice it is, to be brought out on a proper date.

For a meal. Not necessarily super expensive. But nice. On a date. Like.. a real date.

Where someone is actually trying to woo you. Court you.

Someone who tells you, you are worth it. And treats you as such.

A gentleman. Who treats you like a lady.

And it was.... nice.



Maybe, chemistry and connection, are highly overrated. I think, the only two times I've been hit... they killed me. And look where they've gotten me. Took me 10 years to get over TLOML. 5 years in the relationship, trying to get out. And 5 years out of the relationship, trying to get in.

After *TLOML, I promised myself. Never again. But at the same time, every love was compared to that. Measured by that.

For a long time I wondered if I could really ever love again.... or if I was just.... numb.

Because as much as I fought, and ran from it... nothing compared to it. If I didn't feel the same.. I wondered if I was settling. If I even loved the person.

Funnily enough, lightning did strike twice. And perhaps. Even harder. What took me 2 years to realise with TLOML, I sensed almost immediately with... TOWRA. Thankfully.. this was not another 10 year epic. Though, 1 year. Is bad enough methinks.


So why reconsider my stance on chemistry and connection?

Especially when I might have mentioned before, the one time I totally skipped that and went against my gut feeling, and went with what my mother and friends had felt was best for me (and I liked him... enough... I guess) ... that turned out to be the most horrible, abusive, two year relationship of my life?!


Like an old friend - who messaged me yet again, after another drunken night out at godknowswhattime in the morning... to ask me.. yet again... If I would think about going on a date with him. (This is... his third time, asking in a drunken state in... 2 mths?) - said, after I asked him, "err.. why? We've known each other for a long time. And you know we're friends.."

"Because Sara. Love can come from anywhere."


Maybe he has a point?

Maybe each time I've told him, err. No. We're friends. No.

Maybe I should say... Perhaps?


Because.. that was how I landed up having dinner yesterday, with someone who I met a few years ago. I gave it a chance, right?

I hate it whenever people have said I'm fussy. Because, I really am not. I just, go with my gut. And how I feel.

Just that. Well. The gut and the feels... hahahahahaha... have really only happened twice! So far.

Another friend I was chatting with on Facebook the other day again brought up the, "But you're too fussy."

"I'm not la. I really just.. look for a connection right? Because that's what it's all about."

"Well Sara, isn't insisting on having a connection... being fussy?"


I have to say. It made me think.

So.. If that is the case. Then. I guess, there are 3 more people I owe dates to.

Before possibly considering the friend.

And no...

I didn't call guy at Taxi stand.

And no...

I haven't set up Tinder or Okcupid.


YET.


I don't know why I guess I haven't. And I can't explain it... except that...  I know I don't need to.

Somehow, I just know.. that whatever I have wanted. This year.. I will get.

I've always felt that what will be, will be.

And whatever is meant to be, God/The Universe, will send to me.


Given.... ok. I know I've made my mistakes before. Like with TLOML. And no matter what I did, and no matter how much we both tried after that mistake... we just.. couldn't.

Trust was gone.

Broken.


So.. I also have to bear in mind. That sometimes, it's not just what God/The Universe that sends it to us.

It's the choices we make too, with the cards we are dealt.


And since I learnt my lesson and got seriously burnt... At least I know now, not to make the same mistake.

Funny how history repeats itself even 12 years later though eh. Surreal. Same timing too. Never expected the role reversal. But, karma bites like a bitch. And I have an ass that allows for good aim.



So. Onwards. Here we go.

Let the games begin.

Gone in 60 seconds

So nothing is worse than going to work, rushing for a last minute meeting, and then, having it rain on your "freshly-washed-and-ironed-hair" parade right?

Well, that was what I went through today..

TILL...

Cute guy in cab stand. Who sweetly offered me his very crumpled brown starbucks serviettes to wipe my now frizzy-haired self off.

Now, as I was tweeting lines out...

You know what sucks? Rain. After a last minute meeting. On your freshly washed and ironed hair. That frizzes when damp. And is now a mess.
— sara ann k (@saraannk) April 21, 2014

You know what doesn't suck? Hello cute guy at cab stand who just gave me your crumpled starbucks serviettes to wipe myself off...
— sara ann k (@saraannk) April 21, 2014

P.S. Pls send a prayer to mascara gods that reason why cute guy in cab stand proffered serviettes is not cos I look like Joker. okthxbai.
— sara ann k (@saraannk) April 21, 2014

Of course, I failed to notice that perhaps, maybe said guy in question was trying to get my attention.

I was.. well. Chatting with a friend on messenger right?

Any way, I am trying to recall this as best as I can..

How is this for a 60 second. Or.. maybe 90 second, pickup line, when a guy is getting into a cab, right in front of you, in the rain. And getting wet, while delivering this rather romantic monologue.

"Hi, I am so sorry, but I wanted to just tell you. You are really very pretty. And pretty people like you are usually taken. But I thought your earring was really cool. My kid would love it. And your shoes are really cool. And I have a feeling that you're a really cool person too. The guy who has you is really lucky. And if there is no guy, then maybe I am lucky. Except, maybe I'm not so lucky. Because I'm getting out of a really messy divorce. So I don't know how to do this because I haven't done this in a long time. I got married to my childhood sweetheart. And my cab is honking. And I am not even based in Singapore yet. Which would be unfair to you. You probably get this all the time. But, here is my card, and at the risk of sounding really cheesy. Call me, maybe?"

Cue Sara, standing stunned, with a slightly soggy namecard, as cute guy jumps into cab and cab screeches off.

And everyone else in cab queue is pretending NOT to have heard everything, suddenly furiously tapping at their phones, or answering calls that well, had no phone ring.


But waitasec....

Rewind all of this for a minute... Because, we all know, that in Sara-land.... I am the comedychannelforthegods right? So, let me give you the real lowdown on what was happening during this profession of... fancy.

So, while I was wiping myself off. Gratefully, and checking my secondary camera to see if I looked like... well...

Because that is the story of my life... And I realised to my horror that indeed, my mascara was smudgy, and I was desperately trying to wipe it out.

Aside: For people who don't know me... I'm hip, and cool, and smart and funny and elegant.
For the people who do know me. I'm all the above. Except the first and the last. 

I'm the type of girl who, when wearing a nice gown and heels, and looking to the world like I'm gliding past like a princess, is desperately praying in her head... don't fall don't fall don't fall... wait... is that a chocolate fondue fountain? 


And when I did. I also managed to somehow, make myself look worse, so, what else could I do, but make myself UNCUTER. I donned my specs, and tied up my now mangled hair in a messy low ponytail, as well as someone carrying a heavy handbag on one arm, and a lap top bag and ipad, can do. (Not very well at all. Visual guide below.)

And a cab finally comes, and I am grateful that cute guy is in front of me, because its a Chrysler. And we all don't take them, unless we are desperate enough to pay $5 extra.

Then, the guy twists his body out of the cab, so one leg is in the cab, and his other is still on the road, and in the rain.... starts saying......

"Hi, I am so sorry, but I wanted to just tell you. You are really very pretty."

*sara's eyes start bugging out, as she looks left and right, wondering if cute guy was indeed talking to her.

"And pretty people like you are usually taken."

(I may, or may not have snort-laughed rather unglamorously at this point. But I can't/don't want to remember.)

"But I thought your earring was really cool."

*sara's left hand reflexively touches unicorn earring

"My kid would love it."

*whoa you bastard why are you even talking to me you sonofa..

"And your shoes are really cool."

*looks down at feet. Yeah, I really like these cool brogues. I mean. They were cheapies. And they're low and comfy. And not girly girl. And I can run in them. And in this rain too... I love them! I should get another. I wish they had another. It was the last and only pair in that sale at that shop in Hong Kong. I don't know if I can ever find my way to that shop again. It was across the road from that shop selling silver that closed down. 

He may or may not have been saying other stuff at this point. But I was thinking about shoes.

"And I have a feeling that you're a really cool person too."

*Nothing went through my mind other than "Heh" here. I might have done a mental hair flick.

"The guy who has you is really lucky."

*cue Sara's eyebrows raising at least 1.5 cm higher than usual.

"And if there is no guy, then maybe I am lucky."

*cue Sara's eyebrows reaching her scalp line and her mouth hanging open, jaw drop moment.

"Except, maybe I'm not so lucky."

*sara looking confused, and thinking, I should shut my mouth. In case of flies. Sara shuts mouth. But does not regain control of errant eyebrows still causing frown lines in forehead that Dr. Georgia Lee would not be pleased with.

"Because I'm getting out of a really messy divorce."

*sara's head jerks backwards. eyes as big as famous amos cookies, as I thought, omg, my eyes are like... as big as cookies right now. Probably famous amos sized. Not the big ones. The normal ones. I like famous amos. Hmm. I wonder if they have famous amos around here. 

*sara does quick scan of area for famous amos*

"So I don't know how to do this because I haven't done this in a long time."

*sara nods, sympathetically I think. Mostly with head cocked to the right, and nodding in the.. aaaah.. Yes, I see what you're saying (when you don't really understand what the other person is saying) type nod.

"And the cab is honking."

*Sara thinks. Darn it. Now I'm really craving cookies. And the ones in the office are so small now. And I guess that's my cab. But I shall wait here, and not run to you honking impatient red and white cab uncle. Cos.. it's RAINING. Oh. That's why you're honking. Cos... we're stuck here. Hmm...

"And I am not even based in Singapore yet."

*sara thinks "huh?"

"Which would be unfair to you."

*sara's eyes fly open again, thinking, "huh? Ok..."

"You probably get this all the time."

*and I kid you not.. I did this... "awww stop it you" hand gesture.. 

Awkwardly.

With my arm that was holding the laptop.

So I looked like an untrained seal pup trying to swat a fly.

"But, here is my card, and at the risk of sounding really cheesy. Call me, maybe?"

Cue Sara, standing stunned, with a slightly soggy namecard, as cute guy jumps into cab and cab screeches off. 

As Sara thinks..

What just happened?

Get in cab. Whoa. My head. Ouch.

Uncle, Toa Payoh Newscentre please..

Hmm. I should really rub lucky charm's belleh. Heh. He be lucky.

Blissful audible sigh.

I'm glad Liverpool won the game last night.

All the bad kisses.. the hits, and the misses

Now..

THAT WAS INTENSE!

And geesh. Ok, if boyfriends kissed that well. *swoon* Our tiny island of Singapore would not be having this re-population/not-enough-baby-making problems at all. I mean seriously. A kiss like that could get a girl pregnant.

*for those under the age of 16 in Singapore and if you're reading this blog, then you might be my nieces and nephews and therefore, what the hell are you doing here. Go study! And if you're not, and you still don't know how babies are made. Sharing straws kids. A lot can happen when you share straws.

Now I wrote a post about kissing ages ago when I still used to be "a blogger" - under the FOR MEN series. I remember writing on the different kinds of horrible kisses I've had. That post in itself. More than 10k hits in one day. I'm not quite sure whether people were more tickled at the fact that I've had such horrifying experiences, or if there genuinely are that many bad kissers around...

But, this is afterall, 10 years later. I come armed with more than just the 5 types of bad kisses I first wrote about.

*gasp*

I know.

Seriously.

To be fair, maybe it was just bad kiss karma. You may get two great kissers, but put them together and they might not work. (Though, there was a recent experiment on strangers kissing for the first time, that makes me think, this might not be true.
Watch that video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpbDHxCV29A )

Now, I am struggling to remember when was my first kiss. Honestly, zero recollection. But ask me which were the best, and the steamiest...

A coy smile will start breaking out on my face and you'll see that I have officially left the building and my brain has gone to lalaland.

But ah...

Good kissers, just like good men, are hard to find.


THE GOOD.THE BAD. THE UGLY.

1 - Eat Face/ Face attack aka Face-off

When a guy attacks you like he is trying to eat your face.

Looks somewhat like...

An alien attack. 

Yes. Not quite attractive. It literally looks like they are attacking each others faces and honestly, reminds me of a zombie movie.

It felt like Nicholas Cage was trying to eat my face off my skull.

I felt like I was being mauled. Not great. Well not for me at least.

2 - The Hoover

The one that sucks too darned hard.

Yes. Many of you might not have heard or experienced this before. And trust me. This is your good fortune.

I don't know when I experienced this, whether or not it was the combination of youth, lack of experience, hyperactive hormones and a dose of over enthusiasm, but this.. the hoover- is exactly like the vacuum. It sucks and sucks and sucks.

My partner was so vigorous, I literally, sprained my tongue.

I couldn't move it for days. And when I looked in the mirror, it actually looked bruised on the underside.

I kid you not.

I was reduced to eating plain porridge and congee for at least a week while my tongue was out of action.

#notfunny

Was just discussing with a pal Felicia S. Ha. Her experience? A bruised lip from this treatment.

3- Windscreen wiper

Stick out your tongue. Now move it to the left. Now to the right. Now increase the motion by 100x.

Yup.

Not a fan. Especially when its shallow it just feels like someone is trying to squeegee your pearlies.

4- The Sotong 

There are many other names for this disaster of a kiss I would think. But I first called it the sotong, because when I was first at the receiving end of this - it felt like I was getting a slimy squid slapped all over my face.

In case you don't know what "Sotong" is, it's a colloquial term for squid. This type in particular.
Fleshy. Great on the grill and to eat. But not raw. And on your face.

Because this guy literally made out with almost ALL of my face, 

except for my lips. 

He was literally, sucking.face.  Everywhere. My cheeks. My nose. My forehead. Ears. Neck.

Not pecks mind you. Actual make outs. Medium pressure, languorous kissing with tongue.

Honestly. This is hot. But think this with A LOT MORE SALIVA.
And everywhere else on the face as well.
Not so hot.
Just. Very wet.
And not in a good way.

While I was sitting there in his car, paralysed in fear with the thoughts, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! What is wrong with my lips?! Why is his aim so bad?! What if I can't get out of here! I want to get out now!!!" running through my head, as he was making out with my jaw.. I made a silent note to self.....

If a dude is single. Hot. Has a great bod. A six-pack (abs, not beer). Great personality. Treats you like a princess. Fun to hang with. But isn't yet married when he's in his late 30's...

There might just be a reason for it.

And you know what they say about not being able to teach an old dog new tricks? I mean, while this was more like an over-enthusiastic labrador puppy... I really would rather not have to "train" a guy? I much rather have them "as is". No reno needed.

And yes. I did get zits on my face thereafter.

*shudder*

5- The Lizard/Frog

See that flick action. That quick in and out movement. Repeatedly. The multipost was not a mistake. Just that mine was sped up by 10 times. 

It actually is really unsatisfying. Especially if they are the type that does this fast, in and out, like a variant of the Windscreen wiper. 

Side note. This variety of kisser might be useful in another geographical region.

6- CPR

The "breath of life". Where the guy gives you, literally, a breathy kiss. But not in that sexy way. But he feels like he's blowing air into you.

If I had to illustrate, it probably would look somewhat like this.

Sounds like a recipe to getting gassy for me. 

7- The virginal and other variants (too little tongue)

Some call it the grandma kiss. Perfectly acceptable if you're three-years-old. Or if you've been married for more than a decade. It's a fast kiss. More of a punctuation mark. A peck is not an acceptable kiss from a grown man imho.

If you want to kiss me. Put your back into it.

The... ALL LIPS AND NO ACTION is equally unsatisfying. Here's an example:

8- The cirque du soliel and other circus acts (too much tongue)

I empathise with her bewildered look.

When an overenthusiastic tongue does gymastics in your mouth, it can feel like a washing machine

9- Chomp and chew

Some is fun.
Just don't put a hole in my tongue?

10- Octopus

Get it?

If you didn't- that's the basketball handsign for

TRAVELING.

Yes. Sort of an out of bounds illegal move where sometimes, you move too fast, and your feet get ahead of yourself, and you don't dribble the ball and keep it in play.

So please. Especially if it's the first kiss. Don't get all Octopussy. Handsy all over.

Mariah Carey might invite you to do that. But, I've found a guy with respectful hands, who doesn't start groping and pulling and tearing and actually gives the kiss all the attention it needs. Those kisses, tend to be mindblowing.

Case in point:

HOTTTTTTTTT!

So take it slow.

It'll get there. Especially if the kiss is intense and passionate. Things will escalate naturally. Don't make me feel like you're fumbling to tune the radio.

11- It's the sPits

You can more or less guess this one eh?

The ones with excess saliva. It's a monsoon in there.

12- The dentist

Have you ever had the ones that push their tongues in so deep that they feel like they are cleaning your molars?

#gagreflex

13- The fakers

These are the ones that watch too much television, and mimic TV kissing. Believe me, it was surreal.

It actually looks really good on camera. But there is NOTHING going on. Just usually, the guys jaw grinding enthusiastically like a hoochie-mama on the dancefloor.

My first brush with this was on a shoot. When photos came out, I was like... Whoa. That's hot. So when the guy asked me out. I thought, yeah. Why not?

Turns out. That was not just for the camera.

Sigh. Just like designer muscles. Oh so pretty. But what's the use.

So, I can't tell you for sure how you should kiss. Because I would not be able to tell you what you're doing wrong (if you are doing anything wrong). 

But everyone, judges whether or not they are compatible when they kiss.

If your teeth bump... you immediately think... dang. Maybe not so compatible afterall. Especially if it happens over and over again, right?

And essentially, most people use it as an indicator of how well they would work. It is a good yardstick for passion.

My personal favourite...

I love it when a guy slips his hand and cups my head...

LOVE.

If this is your Step 1. I'm already halfway to being sold.

And oh..

Doesn't everyone want a movie moment like this...

It's ok to start with a warm up kiss.... 

Especially if it's your first one...

Have fun, and tease a little...

But the best kind of kisses have the right combination of

1- pressure

2- lubrication

3- suction

4- lip

5- tongue

Personally, I like those that vary. Guys who deliver everything from sweet gentle kisses. To the super intense ones that go on forever and rob you of your breath. And then slow down, again.. to something tender. ALL IN ONE SESSION.

That is bliss.

I mean, whatever happened to the good old days of some good solid make outs?

Just... enjoying the kiss.

Either way... 

I hope you get kissed good ...

And give as good as you get ...

*wink*

Over and out.

*curtsy*
xx
sara

Of pets

Rescuing a terrified abandoned dog - The transformation

I love this video on many ways. In some,  because I've seen the rise of abandoned/lost dogs in the last few weeks, and it has pained me.

As I looked up the definition of pet, I had a revelation...

pet 1   (pĕt)

n.

 An animal kept for amusement or companionship.

 3. A person especially loved or indulged; a favorite: the teacher's pet.

adj.

 Kept as a pet: a pet cat.

 Particularly cherished or indulged: a pet grandchild.

 Expressing or showing affection: a pet name.

 Being a favorite: a pet topic.

-----

I think the thing I have a problem with,  is the definition that a pet is kept for amusement or companionship. A plaything.

That is absolutely selfish.

All those responsible pet ownership campaigns. They are absolutely true.  Choosing to have one,  is a lifetime commitment. It is cruel to get a pet,  and then change your mind just because it doesn't fit your lifestyle anymore. It's not cute anymore. It's not what you wanted anymore. And then just leave.

It reminded me of a passage in The Little Prince, where the Fox was explaining that once you have tamed something, made it your own,  it will always belong to you. Like the rose. It is why we are taught not to feed wild animals, because when you do, they become domesticated, dependant. Needing to rely on you. And when that happens, when that human contact is gone, and the creature has lost its animal instincts it becomes vunerable.

It can't feed itself as well. It becomes a sitting duck for hunters and poachers for instance.

Abandoning an animal, something that you loved and cared for, and loved and cared for you in its own way in return, is one of the most cruel things any one can do.

Watching the clip, I realised that we're like this dog as well. After being abandoned, betrayed, disappointed by another human just vanishing...  we often don't realise the hurt still remains. Maybe we've already lost hope. Think we're better off by ourselves, and become bitter and choose to be alone, rather than hurt again.

The thing is, if you look at the definition of pet, pet also means something deeply loved and cherished. It is why in literature,  "my pet" was often used as a term of affection. Something treasured above all else. And we all, naturally, want to be loved,  cherished and adored.

It's not like this poor doggy did not want love or food. It was ferocious because it was acting on pure instinct putting self-defense mechanisms on. Self-preservation.

The last time it was touched by a human, was probably when it's owner left it somewhere, and never came back. Maybe there was a crowd of naughty local boys who teased the poor dog, tempted the hungry thing with food, and when it came close enough, put cans on its tail, or lit it on fire.

That's why when humans came close again, it snarled. Snapped. Growled.

It was terrified, shaking and quivering with fear. Not having faith or trust that there was good in the world anymore.

Patience.

Time.

A person willing to take that chance and risk being bitten.

And most importantly. .. love.

Look at how the doggy transformed when real, true love was sowed.

She blossomed into a beautiful, happy little dog again. Willing to give and receive love again.

And that my dears, is what so many of us are like.

We're hurt. Terrified. Scared and scarred by our pasts. And sometimes, like these animals, we are unable to speak about them too.

Till we meet that one person, who helps us learn how to trust and brings out the best in us all over again.

I don't know if I've met that person yet. I don't know if that person is you. .. or maybe someone I might meet next week.

But that whoever that person is for me, I know you will have the patience to try, try, try. You won't be scared away by the snapping and the growling. And you won't give up. Because that's what I will promise I will do with you too once you have my heart.

Everyone needs a little rescuing some times. And for all we know,  you might rescue me ... and land up realising, I saved you too.

xx
sara

*curtsy*

Date with Destiny: Fate.

The last few days I've been pondering the idea of fate and destiny.

Do you believe in the idea of "The One" or do you think there are many options out there?

I don't know about you, but I'm starting to lean (maybe at this point in time) toward the idea that if there is one person you are meant to be with.. that regardless of what happens.. fate and destiny will lead you to that person.

Why would a relatively sane person, with a healthy interest in science and logic believe in something as bizarre as fate?

Doesn't that also contradict my religious belief therefore, that we have "free will"?

Honestly, religion.. love... faith... the one... they are ideas and concepts that have constantly been a battle in my head. Something that I've had a hard time grasping.

I've fallen, more than a few times, for people who were of different religious persuasions, only to meet with HUGE disapproval from my family. Well. More the mom. My dad I think, can't care less. 

There have been times where I definitely have wondered if this "marrying the same religion" thing, is a notion as antiquated as marrying someone in your own caste, class, background, race....

But at the same time... it really does matter, doesn't it.

I've seen relationships break up for smaller reasons.

I'm now... a ripe old age of *coughahemcough* well, let's just say I'm no debutante.. I have had friends who have been married. Some... twice by now. Many are happily married with kids... been around the marriage block a few times around.. while I feel like I'm still in my warmup suit, sitting on the sidelines.

Proposals aside.. or guys asking me to marry them... I've looked back and took them apart... why didn't I just say yes?

Why didn't they go through?

Ok. Have you ever met a couple and thought... oh yeah. They feel right together. They just have this cohesive, happy feeling and you can tell immediately that they will land up together?

I think people give off this energy...

I'm not even sure what it is...

The reason why I'm even thinking about this is because I've told.. a few people... WHO I HAVE DATED no less... who they were going to marry. Sounds bizarre?

And aside from that... there have been more than a few friends of mine, who I told... "This is the one." I called it, more often than not, before  the relationship happened.

Take for example.. these two friends of mine I am supposed to meet this afternoon for tea. I met this friend, Chez, at yoga. Fun. Spunky. And we just hit it off immediately. Like an old friend you've known all your life, even thojugh you've never even met them before. Kindred spirits perhaps.When Chez first told me about this person who was coming to visit... I just had this feeling..... that... "This was the one."

"Naaaaah," Chez said at the time... "We've never even met,she's just coming through and crashing. But yeah, we can talk for ages. She paddle boards, and cooks, and she's just really cool... but I don't know. I mean.. I'm not even sure if she's my type."

I looked at her photo... "She's hot." I told Chez. And the more I listened.. the more I felt like this girl, let's call her Beignets... I had the increasing sense that this was "the one" for my pal Chez. Even though, yes, they had only spoken for less than a month online, and had not even met in person yet at this point.

About a week ago, Chez told me they're getting MARRIED in Jul 2014!!!! And can I just say... I was hopping, skipping and jumping on the inside... I was so excited! And don't get me wrong, they've been through a fair bit. And even split up for a month for a while. But... all the time.. I just was hoping that they would figure stuff out... and land back together... because they just had the feeling... that they were meant to be.

I'm in no way a savant or a clairvoyant or psychic. But... haven't you had times where... you just know. I can't even explain it.

But... it just happens. Or clicks.

A guy I dated close to a decade ago once took me to his class reunion. We had a lovely time mingling with his friends, but when we got back from that... I told him, break up with me. You are going to marry this girl. I still remember him asking me, "What are you doing? What are you saying? I like YOU."

"I like you too. But we're never going to work.And she likes you." I said with certainty.

"You got to be kidding me. You are breaking up with me because of what you THINK you feel. How do you know you are right. She is a lawyer. Hotshot lawyer. Dating a hotshot judge. She wouldn't like me."

I looked at him, and told him.. "Trust me."

I walked away. And never looked back. 

Five years later, at a shopping centre... "Sara!"

I turned around. Sure enough, there was this guy, J, with the girl I told him he would land up with... and their daughter.

Weird huh.

Well. .. These aren't the only instances I've called it. But first to Chez and Beignets. ...


CONGRATULATIONS! I have a love for you two that I can't explain. And I really do wish I could have spent more time with you this year. I am so happy for you two.

Chez. I told you so.

Heh.


Meanwhile. .. wanna know more about my disastrous love life and how I've managed to tell a couple more ex's who they were gonna marry. ..

Stay tuned. ...