Sunday, June 15, 2014

Do you believe in dreams?

Do you believe in dreams?

Once a long time ago... maybe around.. March or April last year, I had a dream. I dreamt I had a kid. Well, I guess I was still getting used to having a kid around, because in the dream, I had left the child in the kitchen as my mom and sis were still there. I remember my friends in the house, buzzing around. One of them tsking me when she asked where my kid was, and I said.. somewhere.. My mom and sis, yelling at me from the kitchen. My sis nagging at how it was irresponsible of me leaving the kid there with them. (My argument being that I knew it would be safe there with them.)

I remember looking out of the house to a scene I've never seen before. Looking out and it was grass.. and I could actually see the sea or ocean. From the living room. I had never seen this place before.

But I recall looking down at the baby in my arms, and thinking, OMG. I. Made. This. Human. O_O

I told the dream to a friend the next day, and my friend asked, who was the father? Well, the father wasn't in the dream. At least, I don't recall. She also asked what the baby looked like at least.... and as hard as I tried to recollect, I just couldn't. My mind drew blanks.

Then a few months later.. I met this friend who showed me a piece of property he bought, pretty much in the middle of nowhere. He must have thought I was a total idiot because as soon as I saw the picture, I teared up. That was the view I saw. It was... crazy to me that I had seen it in my dream. What did it all mean?


Last night, I had a dream. I don't remember all of it. But again, it was a dream that felt so real and was so... distinct when it was happening.

Perhaps, it is because I haven't slept in a long time. I don't know. But it was a long detailed dream.

Now, I only recall bits and pieces of it. Travelling alongside my other half. Doing all sorts of really cool, interesting, dangerous things. It was... pretty amazing. And the thing is, at every turn, it actually felt like I was doing those things.

The last thing I remember, was being in a boat, or ship or kayak or canoe, honestly, I don't remember which. All I can recall, is being capsized. And feeling the strong currents pulling at me from every direction.

Being rescued... and holding on gratefully to the one that held me.

And a doctor. Telling me, "I know you enjoy all of these things. But, you need to slow down now that you are pregnant."

And... looking down at my still flat stomach at that point. With the one that I loved.. How he held me. And was filled with wonderment and awe as I was.

It was... strange.


Ask me if I remember the face of this person.. I don't. I wish I did. But I don't. I just remember feeling loved and secure as the guy wrapped his arms around me from behind, his hands settling on my belly. There were no doubts. No worries. No hesitation. Just... the comfort in knowing that he was there. He was happy. He wanted this. And he loved me. It felt like.... how I guess, a confident trust fall should be. Knowing that you are falling but you will definitely be caught by the one you love. It was..... really an amazing feeling.

And then I woke up.

Honestly. I don't know if these dreams will come to fruition.

I am used to having them come to pass, but I do know that some of my previous dreams were averted because of choices that me, or the other people in my dreams, had made.

Are they Freudian?

Self-fufilling/prophetic dreams about my future?

Or maybe, in all three pregnancy dreams that I've had.. I just had a bad stomach. Ate too much or something.

Who knows.

I have had some really strange deja-vu's in the past... where while it happens, it practically feels like an out of body experience because everything I had dreamt, right down to the little details, the words that come out of my mouth, what I am wearing, the surroundings.... all exactly as I have dreamt. And it makes me slightly queasy at times.

Maybe it's like Sliding Doors. That Gwenth Paltrow movie. Where alternate realities of myself in parallel universes are crossing paths.

Note to self: I must not overthink it.

Que Sera Sera.


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