Wednesday, February 26, 2014

What do I want in a man. Really.

So. . I've been asked. More than a few times of late. What do I want in a guy. Really?

I've thought about this long and hard. And my 3 main things. .. Have remained the same for a long time.

The 3 things that I want. Honesty. Intelligence.  Loyalty.

If i had to add an extra : Preferably Christian.

Because I do believe, a real Christian at heart,  would have all those qualities. Don't get me wrong. I have dated fine men who were not religious at all. And men who have claimed to be godly, but couldn't have been further from heaven in their daily lives.

And I've also had this point, be the reason behind some particularly heart wrenching breakups... So.. I'm in two shoes about it. I guess. .. I feel that when God sends the right person to me. It probably won't be an issue.

"Don't need to be rich?  Don't need to be handsome?" I was asked today.

No. That has never been what it takes for me to fall in love.

So aren't my expectations low then?  And why these three? No other dealbreakers?

Well... I would prefer that any man I date, be free of any addictions. Because I believe they have addictive personalities.  And more often than not,  one addiction anyways seems to lead to another.

So why those 3 qualities?

Honesty - because I believe that is the foundation to trust. I cannot accept lies in my life. I just can't. I would rather have the cold hard truth slice up my soul rather than be lied to.  Honesty.  Integrity. That's character.

Intelligence - I would probably lean more toward wisdom. If a man is honest and intelligent. He will always have favour of others. And if he is wise. He might not be rich,  but he will never be poor.

Loyalty - Someone I admire a lot told me the other day... "Girl.. You must marry rich ok? I can introduce you. But marry rich is important. You say love love all.. but most times,  after you get married,  you practically become asexual. And a rich man will cheat. A poor man will also cheat. So might as well marry a rich man. So at least he will take care of you. "

While I saw so much truth in that. .. That is precisely why I need someone loyal.

I have been on both sides of the cheating fence.  And I'm not proud to say this but a bulk of my mistakes happened more than 10 years ago. But I know how painful it is to be cheated on. And I would never wish it on my enemy. Let alone harm someone I love. So loyalty... is important to me.

Looks. . Have never been important to me. Though I have been lucky to date a few people who might be considered very good looking. .. I usually never saw them as that.

I don't know how others see the world and people.  But... much like a child. I don't really notice what is on the outside. I see people as shells. And I fall in love with what is on the inside. And it is only after a while. .. That I start noticing what is on the outside. 

If someone's mind does not engage or fascinate me. .. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

What about physical attraction? You might ask.

Well. Once you have my mind. My heart opens up a crack. And if that is handed over. My soul then follows. And if you have those three. You have all of me.

But what is it. .. That sends me over the edge?

aaah... Like the song says.

It's in his kiss.

To me. That's the money right there. If a guy can just kiss me breathless.. till I feel like my soul has left my body. Without wanting more than that. . That to me. Priceless.

Kissing is a skill. An art form. And someone who bothers to kiss you right. Won't be shabby in other areas that's for sure. I can go on and on and on about all sorts of kisses. Good and bad.

But to be honest. .. there aren't that many good kissers around. In my life... i can safely say I've met maybe... 2 or 3? And  yeeeeeeeeeap..... it pretty much is a good indicator of whether or not everything else is gonna work.

And that my dears.. is another story for another post.

Meanwhile. . sleep tight dear ones.




  1. Definitively an "open book"

    I have never commented a blog but after reading that I truly see heart and intention. Wonderful to see honesty well put.

    When I read your, little piece of your heart turned into digital words and spaces, post, it made me think of these quotes from writer Don Miller...

    ("What I want in a woman") A friend. A true friend; someone who knows me and loves me anyway. You know, like when I'm through putting my best foot forward, she's still there, still the same."

    "I guess I'm looking for what any guy is looking for. I want a companion, you know. Just someone to share life with. I want her to be my biggest fan and I want to be her biggest fan, too. I want us to raise kids in a home where they know their parents are in love with each other, with them, and with God. I guess that's all I want."

    This wasn’t to take away from but just to share also. :)

    First comment from your friend Jody

  2. That was beautiful Jody... =) Thank you for sharing. It made me tear a little. And I hope to find the person who feels that way about me too =)

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