The pain

The pain winded me.

Sharp and stabbing, it was worse than any of the pain I've had in the last few days. Where heartache had turned to a physical pain, that left me feeling almost bruised, like I had been punched in the chest.

I have become more accustomed to the vacuous abyss over the last few years.

Nothing. Feeling nothing.

Pain. Was new. It made me feel alive, while feeling like it was robbing me of it.

He was my ...

How do I even describe what I've never had before.

Someone that brought me so much happiness. Joy and zest for life. Drove me. Inspired me.

And then just suddenly disappear leaving me wondering...

Did it even happen?

Did I somehow manage to fall for something that did not exist?

But if it was not real... why am I here. Curled in a foetal ball. Tears running down my face uncontrollably. Pained with the knowledge that I lost something special.

That took me a whole lifetime to find.

Except... it was just on a one way street.

It hurts.


*This was first published on the 8th of Aug 2013.