What do I want in a man. Really.

So. . I've been asked. More than a few times of late. What do I want in a guy. Really?

I've thought about this long and hard. And my 3 main things. .. Have remained the same for a long time.

The 3 things that I want. Honesty. Intelligence.  Loyalty.

If i had to add an extra : Preferably Christian.

Because I do believe, a real Christian at heart,  would have all those qualities. Don't get me wrong. I have dated fine men who were not religious at all. And men who have claimed to be godly, but couldn't have been further from heaven in their daily lives.

And I've also had this point, be the reason behind some particularly heart wrenching breakups... So.. I'm in two shoes about it. I guess. .. I feel that when God sends the right person to me. It probably won't be an issue.

"Don't need to be rich?  Don't need to be handsome?" I was asked today.

No. That has never been what it takes for me to fall in love.

So aren't my expectations low then?  And why these three? No other dealbreakers?

Well... I would prefer that any man I date, be free of any addictions. Because I believe they have addictive personalities.  And more often than not,  one addiction anyways seems to lead to another.

So why those 3 qualities?

Honesty - because I believe that is the foundation to trust. I cannot accept lies in my life. I just can't. I would rather have the cold hard truth slice up my soul rather than be lied to.  Honesty.  Integrity. That's character.

Intelligence - I would probably lean more toward wisdom. If a man is honest and intelligent. He will always have favour of others. And if he is wise. He might not be rich,  but he will never be poor.

Loyalty - Someone I admire a lot told me the other day... "Girl.. You must marry rich ok? I can introduce you. But marry rich is important. You say love love all.. but most times,  after you get married,  you practically become asexual. And a rich man will cheat. A poor man will also cheat. So might as well marry a rich man. So at least he will take care of you. "

While I saw so much truth in that. .. That is precisely why I need someone loyal.

I have been on both sides of the cheating fence.  And I'm not proud to say this but a bulk of my mistakes happened more than 10 years ago. But I know how painful it is to be cheated on. And I would never wish it on my enemy. Let alone harm someone I love. So loyalty... is important to me.

Looks. . Have never been important to me. Though I have been lucky to date a few people who might be considered very good looking. .. I usually never saw them as that.

I don't know how others see the world and people.  But... much like a child. I don't really notice what is on the outside. I see people as shells. And I fall in love with what is on the inside. And it is only after a while. .. That I start noticing what is on the outside. 

If someone's mind does not engage or fascinate me. .. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

What about physical attraction? You might ask.

Well. Once you have my mind. My heart opens up a crack. And if that is handed over. My soul then follows. And if you have those three. You have all of me.

But what is it. .. That sends me over the edge?

aaah... Like the song says.

It's in his kiss.

To me. That's the money right there. If a guy can just kiss me breathless.. till I feel like my soul has left my body. Without wanting more than that. . That to me. Priceless.

Kissing is a skill. An art form. And someone who bothers to kiss you right. Won't be shabby in other areas that's for sure. I can go on and on and on about all sorts of kisses. Good and bad.

But to be honest. .. there aren't that many good kissers around. In my life... i can safely say I've met maybe... 2 or 3? And  yeeeeeeeeeap..... it pretty much is a good indicator of whether or not everything else is gonna work.

And that my dears.. is another story for another post.

Meanwhile. . sleep tight dear ones.

*curtsy*

xx
sara

I promise to post more I promise to post more I promise to post more

I promise to post more!

I know I know. When I was in moblogs, everything was convenient though. It was basically everything in one. I put an mms out. Or an sms out. There. My blog would be updated. And then of course there were the legendary long writeups too.

Thing is, after working where I have been for the years I have already... besides having long hours, you basically get "all written out".

When you actually have to write for a living. The process becomes a lot less enjoyable. I have found it hard to find my voice again because of all the different styles of writing required by "the house".

But, I hereby promise *sara raises right hand* To post more. A lot more.

And on everything I can possibly post on.

But.. with me on twitter, and on facebook and everything else. Seriously... WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO STOMACH MORE OF ME?

Heck.. I get sick of me sometimes.

Well. A lot of the time really.

How does.. a short post at least... maybe once every two days sound?

And then.. if I lapse at this.. somebahdy tweet me and get my ass moving?!

Have been thinking of posting a lot of things. But as is, I am already behind time with work laaaaa....

So I'll try my bestest.

Till the next time my dear ladies and gentlemen,

*curtsy*

xx
sara

Lessen the risk of getting hacked and cyber-stalked

So we live in a strange little island. And this red dot is extremely litigious about most things. Fine for spitting. Peeing in public. Jaywalking. Etc. In fact lots of small little things are punishable by law here in Singapore.

Even cyber-stalking and hacking is punishable by law. But... you know what isn't?

ACTUAL stalking. Yup. Dude can be hiding in the bushes in front of your house and it won't matter.

So far, only one case has been successfully prosecuted. But the victim really went through a lot before that went through.

How I know?

Well. I've had a few instances that have been unsavoury in the past.

The most recent being... last year.

Unfortunately. Yes - not arrestable. Stalking is non-arrestable. Unless the stalker causes you actual physical harm. Stupid but true.

And honestly, other than taking your usual precautions. Not walking home and just looking at your phone while late at night and beign aware of your surroundings.

One of the reasons I slowed down on my blogposts last year was because I realised.. well. To my horror. I was being hacked. To be honest.. I don't think I ever would have suspected it at all.

When my computer was slow. I figured a good old thump sent it working again. Otherwise, turning it off and on helped.

When it used to swirl with a dizzy pink. And fuzzy green, I just figured it was the monitor or the cable. A thump. Or a thump +fiddle with cable combi usually worked.

So, it was horrifying to eventually be told that yes, you were hacked. To see countless emails. Photos etc. And realise that you feel exposed and violated in a way that you can't describe.

With remote access, people can do ANYTHING with all the infomation they glean from our computers and devices. Especially one as reliant on them as myself. My whole life is on them. Literally.

Either way. I think in some ways, some of these things CAN be prevented. To a certain extent. Well. At least you should take some precautions.

Like:

1. Don't log into OPEN WI-FI

This was one of my first big mistakes. Instead of being cautious. When I first saw what I thought was a neighbour's unlocked WIFI, i thought.. WOOHOO! FREEEEE!!!! SUCKER!!! And logged in.

Well. Little did I know that is one of the biggest gateways to danger.

Seems so simple. But really. So many of us make this mistake.

2. Try not to have a general name for your wi-fi at home. Or erase or forget Wi-Fi accounts you previously have logged into

When I first logged into the open wi-fi near my house, it was named the innocuous "belkin" - the network was stronger sometimes than my own wi-fi at home.

The thing is - because my phone is on auto-connect, I never realised that every time a "belkin" or a "Linskys" router that was unlocked was within close reach, my phone would automatically latch on to it.

3. Better be safe than sorry. If you think there's something wrong with your comp. Check it

To be honest - I did have mine checked a few times after my monitor went psychedelic more than a few times.

Thing is, we changed the monitor a few times. Then the cables. And still the same problem happened. Swirly pink. Or ghastly green fuzzy. It would black out, then come back on again.

Honestly, I should have been more forewarned by then. But granted.. I never thought I would be important enough for someone to want to stalk or hack me.

Though apparently, that's exactly what makes it easier. Because you're not on guard.

4. CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS. OFTEN.

Now I know people laugh. And say this is like.. way too small a step. But honestly. This is one of the best things you can do.

Most of us use one or two passwords that we rotate throughout our emails, facebook, twitter accounts etc. And do you even know how much we exchange through that?

Honestly, I was never quite vigilant about this. But when I realised that access into all my previous accounts had been breached I realised, I didn't exactly make it hard. Most of my accounts have had the same, or similar passwords for close to 15 years now.

5. If you use computers overseas / outside, LOGOUT LOGOUT LOGOUT

May seem obvious. But can't be emphasised enough.

6. Better yet - clear your cache



7. TURN OFF YOUR GPS

I know this sounds rudimentary. But honestly, when your GPS is on, your phone basically becomes giant beacon of a tracker. As is there are devices that allow you to track phones. And when people know where you are - they can get close to you. The closer they can get to you - they can hack into your mobile devices.

8. Don't tag your location

I don't care whether or not you can become the foursquare mayor with one more check in - why open yourself up to being stalked in person too! If you really do want to tag location in a post or instagram - make sure it's a latergram instead so unsavoury characters don't suddenly turn up.

OK. That's honestly all I can think of at the moment. But, if you have other tips to protect yourself from getting hacked. (Well - as much as possible at least.) Do leave them in comments - cos I sure as heck would like to know how to prevent this from happening again as much as I can.

Meanwhile,

*curtsy*

xx
sara

Sorry I've been gone so long...

Hello my dears... And sorry I've been gone for so long.

It's been an exceptionally trying few months at the end of last year as well as the first month of this year.

I talked about being cyber-stalked and hacked. Which honestly, was draining enough as is. (Police aren't super helpful.) And I think now I kind of know where my mistakes were. So I will share them in time so that you can prevent that from happening to you.

And then of course.. there was being hospitalised just before Christmas. Word of advice: We always think bad stuff -in general- happens to other people. Not to us. We all know of a friend who had a cancer scare. Or a brush with cancer. Or had a relative die from cancer. Or even someone who has had cancer. Yet... none of us actually really think.. "This could happen to me."

Well. Ladies. One word : Mammogram.

That's all I'm going to say for now.

I also had a much needed break in Bali. Had an awesome time yet again. Bali is such a beautiful place, and the more I go there, the more I think I definitely could live there. For at least 2 to 3 months a year. I've always wanted to move around and have several bases. So that I can go off the grid at times. And then back into "civilisation" when I need.

Part of the reason I guess is because.. well... I am quite the geek. While I do love meeting up with friends and spending time with them. Meeting new people etc. I do also sometimes like hiding away in my batcave. Getting my computer tan on and having cyber-relationships. Which, apparently are usually the most successful human relationships I tend to have. And for some reason, sadly never really translate in real life. Le sigh.

That aside, while I loved my trip to Bali, the short rendevous was followed by hospital yet again. Won't elaborate for now, but I am certain of this : I love nature. But Nature doesn't love me.

I think I have now developed a fear for drips though. I've never been afraid of needles before. But... with all the veins collapsing. And bursting and spraying blood. And everything else. Hard to not get a little scared. The most delicate thing about me are my veins. The rest of me is a bit of a clumsy, un-coordinated oaf-like hot mess.

Anyhoos, I am going to try religiously updating as much as possible. Even if they are short posts.

But meanwhile.. Have FINALLY figured out how to put instagram and twitter on my blog so if you wanted to perve at my life, it's all right there. Well. Not all. But.. I mean really. What more can you ask for.

Meanwhile, stay safe everyone.

May the year of the Horse be an awesome one for you. I don't know why... but I have a good feeling about this year. =)

 *curtsy*
xx sara
Otherwise known as the #mylittleponyrainbowunicorn

heh